We’ve been stuck inside. The whole country is still on strike meaning most everything shuts down and roads stay blocked.

But it’s fine. 

I’m fine. 

Everything is fine.

Right??

So often the attitudes and behaviors and personalities in this happy but chaotic large household feels like overload. Plus trying to keep the ministry afloat. Some days I can’t handle it.

Worry, stress, emotions, interruptions, setbacks, over stimulation, topped with depression and anxiety and a load full of random but heavy issues that have popped up lately… this past month has been quite messy.

Breathe out the worries. Breathe in the grace. Get up and try again.

God is good. And he sees this felt chaos. So, it’s going to be ok. With Him, it will be. In surrender, it will be.

I can dwell on the “What ifs”

What if I’m doing it wrong? What if the gangs reach our new city? What if the ministry falls? What if life is flipped upside down once again but this time, I can’t handle it? What if the weight of this lifestyle causes burnout beyond repair?

Or I can dwell on: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

Philippians 4:8

Think about the truth. The promises of YHWH. He’s the author and the story isn’t finished. He’s got this. He’s got you. He’s got me. In the tender palm of His hands. We don’t have to act like we have it all together. Like life is just always sunshine and happiness. It’s normal to break at the weight. It’s ok to admit it. It’s ok to know your weakness and lean on God and His goodness.

“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.”

Romans 5:3-5